I can't give you a jacket But I can give you an umbrella
by TheTowelBoy
Summary: What happens when Adam dies of a hate crime?


Her feet dug into the ground, the mud caking the black flats on her feet with a thick coat of mud. Becky was never caught once wearing this much black. Her dress was long and gloomy, almost skimming the layers of mud on her shoes. Her hair was a mess, frizzy and soaping wet. It had obviously not been brushed in weeks, she couldn't bring herself to do anything productive.. not after he died.

Becky didn't even attend his funeral, in reality, she couldn't. She knew she would have bursted out into tears or disturbed everyone and she couldn't do that, she knew he deserved better.

Becky had waited until the funeral was over to say her goodbyes. She couldn't even watch them burry him in the ground. Instead, she wanted to wait until everyone was gone and say her last goodbyes at his grave, alone.

The blond passed rows of tombstones, the rain still pooring heavly onto her skin. A smile suddenly slithered up to her face, thinking of Adam. Memories flashed into her mind. Like the time he scolded her for staying outside in the rain, telling her she would get sick and he had hurried outside to give her a jacket, and when the next day, she fell down with a severe cold, he stayed home and took care of her until she got better.

And she knew he was probably rolling his eyes at her right now as she walked in a dress, not caring if rain was hitting her like bullets.

Her face suddenly turned from neutral to saddened, her feet abruptly stopped at a small grave. The stone was rounded and grey, like all the other ones around. Becky's knees buckled at the sight, the yellow flower in her hand fell to the mud and her knees fell along with it. The blond burried her hands in her hair as she sobbed. Her chest and shoulders rose and fell in a small rythm, the small grave shadowing her face.

But she needed to be strong, for Adam.

Becky whipped the tears from her face and simply starred at the grave in front of her, her hands placed gracefully on her thighs. In all honesty, she didn't care that she was kneeling in mud, she didn't even notice.

She let out a small, raspy chuckle, digging the once yellow flower out of the dirt and placed it on his grave stone.

Becky pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket, clearing her throat as she read it to the stone on front of her.

**Dear Adam, I don't even know what to say.. No words could make this any better. How do you say goodbye to the one you love? I don't think the 'three little words' would work. At least, not for you, you deserve more than that... You were the love of my life. God.. I miss you like crazy. With you being gone, I realized how much I rely on you... You use to make me coffee in the morning, I would wake up to the scent and you would poor it into my Mickey Mouse mug... Every time I left the TV on by accident, you would be the one to turn it off... When I steal all the sheets at night, you would simply get up and fetch more sheets from the closet and add them to the mounds of sheets I already had, and you would sleep without any covers at all... You did everything for me.. I don't think I could ever say thank you enough. You saved me Adam, when I was a bible crazed teen, you pened my eyes and showed me a whole new world. I use to be in the rain, infecting every one with my cold until you came into my life and gave me a jacket, saving me... I will love you forever, Adam Torres.**

This is goodbye... Not forever, but for a while.

The blond finished her letter, tears brimming her eyes. She hated that this had happened. A horrible hate crime lead to a devastating death. She wanted to avenge his death, go after Owen Miligan for shooting him but she knew Adam wouldn't want her to do that.

With a sigh, she placed the letter on his tombstone beside the flower. Becky reached into her purse and pulled out his old leather jacket. With her shaking hands, she wrapped it around his tombstone, zipping it up hallfway. Becky leaned in really close to the rock, letting her lips brush his engraved name.

"I'd never let you get a cold". Her words blew in the wind, she could almost smell his cologne.. but she figured the scent was coming from his jacket.

"Becky?".

Someone spoke up from behind her. The deep voice broke her trance.

"Eli? What are you doing here?". Becky spoke as she whipped some of the concoction of tears and maskara from her face, she rose from the mud to reveal herself to the behind her. Her knees and dress were brown from the mud and Eli looked at her curiously, as if he hadn't seen her in months. Unlike Becky, he wasn't wet at all, a umbrella shielded him from the continuous rain.

Becky could sense that there was something different about Adam's old best friend though. He had bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept from hours and he seemed duller than usual. It was odd to see him like this.. Just a few months ago Eli was at her and Adam's house playing video games.

"_What are you doing here?_.. Aren't those Clare's lines.?". He managed to let out a muffled chuckle but his facial features immediately tightened as he saw Adam's grave stone in the distance behind the blond. He gulped and forced another sentence out of his mouth. "I am here because I needed to see my best friend and wife, one last time".

Becky didn't respond. She knew this was probably heart breaking for him, his wife had passed away a few years ago from cancer and now he had lost his best friend..

The blond licked her lips, unsure of what to do. She swallowed the unwanted lump in her throat and ran toward Eli, flinging herself at him. She embraced him in a tight hug.

Eli dropped the umbrella that was in his hand, it fell to the mud and he wrapped his arms around the petite blond. His closed his eyes, taking in her lemon scent.

Becky sobbed into his shoulder. The rain tapped lightly on them both. She whispered something lowly into his shoulder. "If you were Adam... He would be scurrying to give me a jacket". She didn't know if he could hear it.

Eli heard her words and knew exactly what she was talking about, he had over heard her entire letter.

He pulled slightly away from her, letting his face almost brush hers. His expression was neutral, making Becky wonder about what he was thinking. The dark haired man leaned in and kissed her full on the mouth, taking Becky by surprise.

She kissed back. It wasn't like Adam's kisses though.. Adam would have put his hands on a special and specific place on her hip and his thumb would rub small circles of her hip bones... Adam's lips were also softer, not as rough and as chapped as Eli's... Adam would have tilted his head to the right and she would have tilted hers to the left.. Eli on the other hand, tilted his to the left and she had to tilt hers to the right. It was so different that it took her by surprise but she didn't mind.

Eli could also sense many differences... Clare would have wrapped her arms around his neck but Becky simply let her hand trail his arms... Clare would have slipped her tongue into his mouth, to fight for dominance but Becky didn't... Clare would have done so many things that Becky didn't but he didnt mind.

Eli pulled away from the kiss and starred at the girl. He managed to speak through his shock. "Becky, I know that I will never be Adam. I will NEVER be able to give you what he gave you, I can't replace his love. But I want to love you so that you won't have to face every day alone. I will try to do what Adam did for you. I want to love you.. I can't give you a jacket like he did. I can't shelter you as much as the jacket that he had could. Hell, I'm not even wearing a jacket right now... But, I have an umbrella and that can help shield you from some of the rain.. not all of it, but some of it... A jacket can fully cover you from the rain but an umbrella will sometimes slip and let the rain in.. But I can help, Wait, actually, scratch that, I CAN TRY to shield some of the pain, like an umbrella'.

Eli picked up the Umbrella from the ground and let it dangle above both of their heads. Becky licked her lips and let tears flow from her eyes. She nodded at Eli's words.

The blond looked into his eyes then her head snapped down to her hands. She was still wearing the wedding ring that Adam had given her. More tears flowed from her eyes at the sight of it. Eli saw this and looked at his own hand.

Their rings were so different. Becky's ring was silver and slim, a small diamond on it and the words; 'You're my miracle engraves on the sides... Eli's was simply black, the words; 'You have pretty eyes' etched into the inside.

For a moment they starred aimlessly at their rings, until Eli lifted Becky's head to meet his eyes. He pulled his ring off his finger. Becky raised an eyebrow and did the same, slipping the band off her finger. They both turned around to face the row of tombstones.

Becky didn't realise the tombstone that was besides Adam's.. It was Clare's.

A tear slipped from Eli's eye. He Took hold of Becky hand and the umbrella and walked towards the two tombstones that meant so much to them both. He gulped handed Becky the umbrella. Eli kneeled to Clare's grave and dug a small hole in the ground, burrying his ring.

Once he finished, he went back to Becky and took the umbrella from her hands, knowing that she wanted to bury her ring. Becky cried as she kneeled to the stones level, instead of burrying it, she placed it in the jacket pocket. This was the first step to moving on.

Becky stood back up to meet Eli, Huddling under the umbrella with him. "This isn't goodbye".

Those were the last words they both said before they both made their way to Eli's car.

They had no idea were their relationship was going. They were two grieving souls, looking for their jackets... They knew they couldn't have their Jackets though, it was impossible. They knew they had to find an alternative.. An umbrella.


End file.
